needsaconstant | A Question (Voice)

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A Question (Voice)

[He sounds worried and yet sort of amazed at the same time.]

Why is my book trying to eat me?

I'm pretty sure books don't do that...

[There's a sound as if something's being whacked.]

Back, I say! Back! Bad book!

((ooc: Deleted the other entry cause it was just too weird...))

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I figure it's because you never did much reading as a kid.

*sputters*

What?! I read all the time when I was a kid. I even took care of them.. I didn't do the dog eared pages or anything!

Besides, why would a book hate me because I read it?

Annoyance, boredom, rage for being manhandled. Or maybe it's a poor soul trying to show its love for the apparently avid reader.

...Or maybe it just dislikes you because it dislikes you. Hate, whatever. If it's not too busy trying to bite your nose off, maybe you could ask.

Well, it won't answer me. Believe me, I've tried.

But, books don't have brains, therefore, it is impossible for them to feel emotion or any feeling resembling ann emotion.

Now, if it was possessed by something else, then it would be how that poltergeist feels towards me, not the book. The book is merely it's puppet.

Why my nose-?

You've tried. Bravo. I was just about to ask, because you seemed like the type to talk to brainless objects.

Books also don't move on their own, hotshot, but they are now, aren't they? But if it is a poltergeist, why are you asking questions now if you think you have an answer?

Why not?

*He's usually rather polite, but a biting book and sarcasm make an exasperated Daniel*

Brainless objects? What does that imply? Really, miss, saying things like that doesn't make it better that a book is trying to bite me.

I don't have an answer, okay? I don't. I'm a scientist. I'm not Miles Straume, who would happen to know what to do with a poltergeist. Miles would just love you, becuase you're both extremely sarcastic!

Maybe I would like to keep my nose intact, okay?

*except he doesn't have anyone to really offend*

I'm not saying it's going to make it better. I imagine it must be really, really traumatic for you.

Well, what does the inner scientist inside you say?

Well, stand up and maybe it will only be able to reach your knees.

U-huh. Sure. And the Oceanic Flight 815 crashing and the death of the woman I loved is so less traumatic than a biting book!!

My inner scientist says it's impossible for books to come alive. That's all it says. That's it.

But it can jump. That's what makes all the difference, right?

Did I say it was less traumatic? No. I was just sympathizing with you. If you like, maybe I can send my can-opener named Thunder to tear apart that book for you. And before you ask, I'm not actually being sarcastic. Me and that can-opener you see, we have a symbiotic relationship going here.

Well, you could always pretend you're seeing things and ask for medication. That helps with a lot of people.

How high? I'd recommend putting something nice and heavy on it.

*He's sorta back to his calm, polite demeanor again*

Symbiosis with a can-opener? That's rather interesting. And what does it get in return? Because, if you're the only one benefiting from the relationship, then it's actually commensalism.

I'm not mad, thank you very much. Medication is not for me.

And I've already taken care of the book. It fell down ten stories, if you want to know.

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